Bah Humbug!
by Taiki Matsuki
Summary: Ruki's her usual, annoyed self around holidays and Takato dragging her to help with his Christmas shopping isn't helping her attitude. Can ghosts of seasons past help her see the true meaning of Christmas? Re-posted with Original Author's permission.


Bah Humbug!

"Bah humbug..." Muttered Ruki as she looked at the prices of the items in the windows at the Shinjuku shopping mall. "'Tis the season to buy ju~unk. I really really hate this hol-i-day!" She sang to herself, in the middle of the Shinjuku mall's 'Digimon Adventure Fan Shop,' one of Toei's new chain stores that held the kinds of things most Digimon Adventure fans outside of Japan would kill for.

"Ruki, cut it out, it's Christmas! Show some Christmas cheer!" Takato said, looking at a Digimon Adventure BelialVamdemon plush, he handed it to Ruki. "Even this guy would have SOME Christmas spirit!"

"...Takato, BelialVamdemon is a character on TV, and even if he was real... ...We'd probably be good friends this time of year."

"Yeah, ranting about prices, I could just see you, him, Piemon and Etemon doing that together." Takato joked, Ruki took the BelialVandemon plush and hit him over the head with it. "Ow! Watch it! That mask is hard plastic!"

"Why did you even drag me along here, anyway?" Ruki asked, tossing the plush aside, "You know I HATE Christmas shopping. And you could have dragged that Lee kid with you."

"I'm buying Jen's gift, and I need help getting him something he'd really like." Takato replied, he found a Wallace figure. "What about this? They have the same digimon, too!"

"...Geez, you just got Hirokazu and Kenta some card decks..." Ruki muttered, "And what'd you get me, anyway?"

"I can't tell you that!"

Ruki reached for a Piemon cosplaying costume and drew out one of the swords, she cleared her throat loudly.

"...The Digimon Adventure Christmas Fantasy CD."

"Thank you!" Ruki said, sweetly. She put back the sword. "Now let's find something for Lee..." She picked up a bottle of massage oil. "...I can't believe they're making this stuff for Digimon Adventure fans...Hey, this is the same herbal oil that Vamdemon uses on Piemon in season 3... That's the scene that sparked all that yaoi doujinshi you see online."

Takato took the oil, Ruki gave him an interested look. "...For my dry skin!" He said, quickly.

"Riiight." She muttered, she put a bottle in a shopping basket. "What about this?" She picked up a Digimon Kaiser cape.

"Nah, he stopped liking Ken after he turned good."

"What about this?" Ruki held up an Osamu Ichijouji cosplay costume.

"Wasn't he hit by a car?"

Ruki turned over the costume, revealing tire marks on the back. "I'm hoping he could get a few added to the front."

"...Very funny."

Ruki put the costume away. "How about this?" She held up the BelialVamdemon plush. "It's cute, cuddly, and comes with a copy of the last volume of the Digimon Adventure 02 DVDs!"

"Only you would find BelialVamdemon cuddly..." Takato put the plush in his shopping basket. "...Okay, let's find something less evil, and something Jen-kun would like."

"Let's try something... Less Digimon, more... ...I dunno, interesting- Oh...My...God..." Ruki turned to the front, "...It's... Oikawa's voice actor... Signing... Autographs... C-can't... breathe... Hyperventilating..." Ruki fell back, Takato barely caught her.

"...I take it you want an autograph."

"Badly...Me...Need...Autograph...Book...Now..."

Takato picked up a BelialVamdemon themed autograph book. "Knock yourself out."

* * *

The trip to the mall was a loss, Takato didn't find anything for Jenrya, and Ruki refused to go anywhere else with him when she saw that Ohtomo Ryuzaburo (Vamdemon's voice actor) was giving autographs as well.

It was Monday, lunch time to be exact, Takato was wandering the halls of his school, thinking of something for Jenrya...

...Until he ran into Hirokazu and Kenta, doing something he could only describe as "less than normal" in the halls.

"You're... him! It can't be!" Hirokazu stepped back from Kenta in fear. "You're dead!"

"Ebenezer..." Kenta moaned. "Ebeneeeeeezer... These chains I carry are sins of my life, I had foresaken the deeds of kindness... If you do not change your ways, your chains will be twice as heavy as mine..."

"Okay... Since when did Kenta die and Hirokazu change his name to Ebenezer?" Takato asked.

The two boys turned and looked embarassed. "It's for the school play!" Hirokazu said. "I'm trying out for the part of Ebenezer Scrooge!"

"And I trying out for Jacob Marley!" Kenta added.

"There's school play?" Takato asked.

Kenta gave Takato a confused stare. "You didn't hear about it? There were signs posted all over the library!"

"...Uh..."

"...On second thought, you couldn't have heard about it..."

"Hey! Maybe you could try out for a part in the play!" Hirokazu suggested.

"Me? But... ...Well, what is the play?" Takato asked.

Kenta and Hirokazu both nearly fell over upon hearing those words. "Y-you mean... You didn't recognize what we were practicing?" Hirokazu shouted.

"Not really.."

"...Do the names Ebenezer Scrooge, Bob Cratchit and Jacob Marley ring a bell?" Kenta asked.

Takato shook his head.

"...What about Tiny Tim?" Hirokazu asked, "Ya know, the God bless us, everyone, kid!"

"Never heard of him."

Kenta spoke, "...What about Charles Dickens, the famous author?"

Takato thought for a moment. "Oh yeah! He's the guy who writes all those Harry Potter books, right?"

Hirokazu and Kenta groaned.

* * *

"Bah humbug?" Takato looked at the book, tilting his head to one side as he thought. "...Is that even a word?"

"In English, maybe..." Hirokazu said, looking at the book. "But, this is the play, pretty much."

"Wanna try out for a part?" Kenta asked.

"Hm..." Takato looked at the book. "...Who's this Bob Cratchit guy?"

"He works for Scrooge, for very little pay." Hirokazu explained. "He's the father of Tiny Tim."

"Tiny Tim?"

"The 'God Bless us, everyone!' kid!" Hirokazu said, "That line's probably one of the most famous from any Christmas story."

The school bell rang. "Sorry, guys, I gotta go! Christmas shopping!" Takato said, running out of the library.

"See ya!" Kenta and Hirokazu waved as Takato left.

* * *

Ruki and Takato were back at the Digimon fan store after school...

"BelialVamdemon plush?" Ruki asked.

Takato shook his head. "...Jen hates BelialVandemon."

"What?" Ruki hugged the plush. "How could anyone hate BelialVamdemon?"

"It's easier than it looks," Takato mumbled, he then found an Etemon plushie, he laughed.

"...What's so funny?"

"Just thought of a joke about your last boyfriend." He said, looking at the plush.

A loud crash was heard as Ruki grabbed one of the anime mallets on display and cracked Takato over the head.

Takato fell over, holding his head in pain and knocking over a large display of Digimon Adventure 01 merchandise.

"That'll show you to make jokes about my-" Ruki was interrupted as she was hit on the head by a plaster Mugendramon statue, she fell to the ground next to Takato, unconscious.

* * *

"MATSUDA!" A voice screamed from inside the cold, dark building. "Get in my office, NOW!"

Takato woke up from writing down various account balances. "Huh?" Takato walked into the office, somehow knowing where it was.

"Matsuda, how many pieces of coal have you used this week?"

"O-only one, Ms. Scrooge!"

"Really?" Ruki, from behind her desk, glared at Takato. "I doubt it! Just for this, you don't use coal for the next week!"

"But-"

"MATSUDA!"

"Y-yes, m'am!"

Ruki turned away from Takato. "Now, get back to work! Money doesn't grow on trees, insect!"

Takato got back to work, still trying to keep warm in the freezing building.

The door suddenly burst open, moments later. "Cousin Scrooge!"

Ruki froze. "Ye Gods... Not you..." She mumbled, turning to face her less-than-normal (according to Ruki and numerous psychologists) cousin...

...Juri Katou, and Mr. Doggie, her sock puppet (or second personality, if you prefer), looming over her desk, smiling. "Heya! Woof!" Mr. Doggie 'barked.' "Merry Christmas, Ms. Scrooge! Juri has something she wants to tell you! Woof!"

"...Get out..." Ruki said under her breath.

"Come on! I just wanted to invite you to Christmas dinner tomorrow!" Juri said. "We'll have Turkey with stuffing, candied fruits, mint-chocolate milk shakes, candy canes, cookies, roast ham, all sorts of a good foods and desserts!"

"Yummy yummy yummy! Woof!" 'said' Mr. Doggie.

Ruki's glared turned into a smile, Takato, who was watching the scene unfold, covered his ears...

"Ya know what, Juri, I'll take you up on that offer," Ruki got up and put her arm around Juri, who was very excited. "But, there's one tiny problem." They began to walk to the door.

Juri's smile turned into an expression of worry. "What's wrong?"

Ruki opened the door and threw Juri outside. "I COULD GET BETTER FOOD THAN YOUR COOKING OUT OF THE DUMPSTER BEHIND MY OFFICE!" She screamed as Juri landed in the snow.

Juri got up and turned to Ruki. "So I'll expect you there at 6:00 tomorrow?" Ruki slammed the door, snow from the roof of the building fell on Juri. "...7:00?"

"We can keep a place for you as late as you need, woof!" Mr. Doggie 'said.'

* * *

"Bah! Humbug..." Ruki growled. She thought for a moment, then pulled out a dictionary.

"Ms. Scrooge-" Takato stopped in front of Ruki's desk. "...What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to figure out what humbug means..." Finally, she just tossed it behind her. "Eh, humbug..." She mumbled, turning to Takato. "What do you want?"

"Well, it's time to go, but-"

Just then two boys opened the door and came into the room. "Is this Scrooge and Marley Inc?" One of them, who wore a black long sleeved shirt with a cross on the front, and a visor on his head.

Ruki glared. "WAS Scrooge and Marley Inc. Now it's just Scrooge Inc."

"Why won't you change the sign?" The other, who wore an orange long sleeve shirt with a grey jacket and wearing glasses.

"Too expensive." Ruki replied.

"Are you sure? I know of a guy who will change it for about 200!" The one with the visor said.

"Too expensive." Ruki repeated.

"Well... Would you be able to make a donation to our charity?" The boy wearing glasses replied.

Ruki glared, "What charity?"

"Hirokazu?" The boy with glasses turned to the boy with the visor.

"Kenta and I are collecting money for the Save The Digimon fund." Hirokazu explained.

"We want to make sure that those poor digimon aren't threatened by anything like blizzards, disease, crazed silver lighter flicking government agents, things like that!" Kenta added.

"So, how much can we put you down for?" Hirokazu asked, pulling out a clip board.

Ruki glared at the two boys. "I'll show you..."

* * *

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hirokazu screamed, landing face first in the snow.

"AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" Kenta landed ontop of Hirokazu, in a comical kissing position. They rolled off eachother with a shout.

"And keep the change!" Ruki screamed, tossing the clip board at Kenta, hitting him in the back of the head with it.

Ruki slammed the door, snow fell from the roof and buried the two boys.

"Well, that was... less than I expected..." Hirokazu said.

"...Hey, you two want to come over for Christmas dinner?"

Hirokazu and Kenta turned to Juri, who was stll sitting there, with Mr. Doggie.

"We have all kinds of yummy food! Woof!" Mr. Doggie 'said.'

"...Uh... Hiro-chan and I are going to be having a private dinner together this Christmas." Kenta replied.

* * *

"Now, what do YOU want?" Ruki shouted to Takato, sitting at her desk.

"Well, since tomorrow's Christm-"

"So you're another one of those 'Christmas' freaks..." Ruki groaned. "...And let me guess, you want the day off because of your precious holiday?"

"Well, kinda..."

"And you want pay, too, right?" Ruki asked, Takato nodded. "Well, fine, you can go now if you want..."

"Thank you, Ms. Scrooge!" Takato turned to the door.

"BUT, I expect you here early for the rest of the year!" Ruki shouted. "AT LEAST an hour early! One second late and there will be HELL to pay!"

"Y-yes..." Takato said, taking his coat and starting to leave towards the door. "Merry Christmas, Ms. Scrooge."

"Bah! Humbug!" Ruki shouted. "Just show up early from now on!"

"O-of course..."

* * *

That night, in Ruki's dark, cold and rather large house... Ruki kept it that way, no need to worry about paying for things like light, heat or anything else she doesn't desprately need. The only expense she really added was the creepy stone gargoyles lining the roof, but, that was only because Ruki liked dropping them upon unsuspecting carolers on Christmas day.

The only light source was the fireplace, a single log smoldering with barely a flame as Ruki sat in front of it, eating a bowl of imitation gruel, she was too cheap to buy the real thig, even though it only cost 100 more.

"Bah! Humbug!" She said to herself.

**Scrooge...**

Ruki stiffened. "...It can't be..."

**Ruki Scrooge...**

Ruki turned and looked towards the source of the sound... Just her locked door, "...It's the wind." She said after a moment. She turned back to her fire place...

...Only to find the ghostly image of a man staring back at her. He was tall, wearing a black suit and tie and sporting a pair of sun glasses. He was covered in chains with heavy lock-boxes and miniature safes attatched to the chains.

"Y-you... It can't be...!" Ruki coukd barely speak. "Yamaki Marley!"

"Ruki..." Yamaki said, in a ghostly voice. "Your hatred of Christmas has summoned me to warn you..."

"What? A girl can't hate Christmas?" Ruki asked, crossing her arms.

"Ruki! If you do not change your ways, your chains will be heavier than these, which I must carry throughout eternity!" Yamaki wailed, shaking the chains for dramatic effect.

"Casper the friendly ghost is scarrier than you." Ruki stated.

Yamaki sighed, dropping the scare-routine. "Look, three ghosts will visit you and HOPEFULLY you'll get the message!"

"...Why the hell does this sound so familiar?" Ruki mumbled.

Yamaki began to wail, "Remember Ruki... Remember Ruki... Ruki... Ruki... RUKI!"

* * *

"Ruki? Ruki?" Takato shook Ruki, she was still on the floor, unconscious. "Ruki! Wake up!"

"BAH HUMBUG!" Ruki screamed, bolting up and pushing Takato aside, hard.

"AUGH!" Takato fell backwards, a store clerk helped him up, "...She's fine!" He said, "She's usually this violent when she wakes up."

Ruki got up. "Grrrr..." She looked around the room, a small crowd had gathered...

...Hirokazu, Kenta, Juri and a guy she barely knew, but, she was certain he was the ghost in her dream, "...Oh... My... God..." She began to back off from the crowd, and then ran off at full speed.

"...What's with her?" Yamaki asked.

Takato shrugged, "I dunno. Ruki is as Ruki does."

Yamaki looked at the BelialVandemon plushie Ruki dropped. "...Hmmm, I wonder if this would make a good gift for my cousin... ...Hell, it even looks like him!"

* * *

That night Ruki had fallen asleep early. Snow was beginning to fall...

...Of course, there was a small creaking sound, Ruki's eyes opened...

...A tall figure loomed over here, "Ruki..." The figure whispered with a deep voice. Immediately a desk lamp hit the figure square in the face. "AGH!" He fell over, making a loud thud. "Ow..."

Ruki armed herself with a large dictionary, "Okay, who are you? What do you want?"

The figure turned on the desk lamp... Ruki gasped.

"Boo!"

"Yo-You're from... Digimon Adventure..." Ruki stepped back. "But.. You died!"

"And your favorite character killed me!"

"...It was YOUR fault! You let him posess you!" Ruki shouted, "And if it wasn't for that fact that you and Hiroki discovered the Digital World, he wouldn't be dead!"

Oikawa glared. "I'll show you dead in a minute!" He raised his arms in anger and ran towards Ruki, who gave him a swift kick in the leg. "AGH!" He fell over. "Agh..."

"What are you doing here, anyway, O, killer of my favorite character?" Ruki asked.

"Hey, it's not my fault your favorite character went down because some kid wished for a pony or some other crap!" Oikawa got up, he cleared his throat. "I am the ghost of Christmas past," he began, "and I was sent here to take you to many Christmases ago..."

"Okay..." Ruki reached to her phone. "That's great. Really." She picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Hello? Operator? There's a crazed freak cosplaying as Yukio Oikawa in my room! Send an amulance for him! I'm about to-" Ruki looked up...

She was in an apartment... Her apartment from when she was three...

"...What the...?" She saw herself... At the age of three, opening Christmas gifts.

"Do you remember this?" Oikawa asked, putting his hand on Ruki's shoulder. Ruki responded by elbowing Oikawa in the stomach. "AGH!"

"This is the year I stopped believing in Santa Claus..." Ruki said.

"Why did you stop believing in him?" Oikawa asked, he was quite curious as to how a three year old child could stop believing in Santa.

"I was good all that year, I didn't talk back to my mother, I actually tried on those ugly dresses... ...I did everything she asked, even went to that STUPID modeling school... ...And Santa didn't bring me the gift I wanted..." Ruki said, sadly.

"What was it?" Oikawa asked, assuming it was a pony or something every little girl would want for Christmas.

"An AK-47."

Oikawa fell back. "WHAT?"

"Is there something wrong with a girl wanting something to protect herself and-slash-or take over the world by the time she's five?"

"YES!"

"Well, not to me..." Ruki crossed her arms.

Oikawa decided to take Ruki a little further in the future. "Okay, we'll head to another time you may remember..." Suddenly wavy lines appeared out of nowhere, and Ruki found herself in the middle of a school auditorium...

"No... Not... This..." Ruki said in fear.

On the stage was a group of children... One of them was five year old Ruki Makino.

"Oh yes, this!" Oikawa said, grinning, "I just had to remind you of this."

A teacher who was acting as the narrator spoke, "And the Shepherd saw the angel come down. And said..."

". . . . . . . . . . ." Young Ruki was frozen, all she had to say was one word, then a boy named Jian-something-or-other would come down as the angel...

But she froze...

"SAY HARK! HARK, YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Ruki screamed.

"She can't hear you, these are just shadows of the past!" Oikawa told her.

"...Mommy!" Young Ruki screamed, running off stage as the entire auditorium burst into laughter.

"...It was... HARK... ANYONE can say HARK..." Ruki fell to her knees. "I was so embarassed..." She then turned to Oikawa, who was laughing. "...SHUT UP, YOU CREEPY PALE BASTARD!" She punched him in the face, he flew into the audience, passing through various audience members while shouting.

"AGH!" Oikawa got up from the audience, rubbing his head in pain, "Okay, fine! Maybe this didn't work, but, you will still be visited by two more ghosts!"

"Whatever!" Ruki said, crossing her arms and turning away from Oikawa, sudenly she was in her room, which contained two digimon... A small confused digimon and a large worried digimon.

"Who were you talking to? Kuru?" Culumon asked.

"...No-one."

"Are you feeling okay?" Renamon asked.

"...Fine."

* * *

The next day, as usual, Takato dragged Ruki to the store and looked for the perfect gift for Takato to give Jenrya.

...And that day, Takato found it...

...A collection of every Digimon Adventure Manga Toei had ever made. Takato picked it up in awe... ...And almost dropped it when he saw the price. 12,500 yen.

"That much for..." Takato counted the mangas, "...47 mangas?"

"That sounds about right." Ruki said, looking at a display of various BelialVamdemon action figures. "...G.I Belial?" She looked at the figure, a G.I. Joe esque BelialVamdemon. "Includes detachable war helmet... Hmmmm..."

"Argh!" Takato had counted his money. "I'm 1,000 yen short!" He turned to Ruki. "Can I borrow 1,000 yen?"

Ruki looked up from the GI Belial action figure, "You want to borrow money from me?"

"Please! Jen-kun would love this!"

"...On one condition."

"Anything!"

Ruki showed Takato a box that made him leap back in horror. Depicted on the front was a large, dark, castle with a stormy night in the background. Included was a grave yard and various other demonic things. "What IS that?"

"BelialVamdemon's Dream House. By January tenth, got it?"

"...Deal..."

Ruki gave Takato some money. "A pleasure doing business with you!"

* * *

As Takato and Ruki crossed the street from the mall, a car sped the light at the crosswalk, barely missing them...

...Except...

"N-NO! NO!" Takato screamed. The car had driven into a deep puddle of slush and water, soaking his bag and the manga within.

Ink started to leak out of the bag... Takato looked. He went limp as he saw a melted picture of the Dark Masters on one of the covers.

"Drama queen," Ruki rolled her eyes. Takato had literally fainted.

Traffic came to a halt as people came out of their cars to help the fallen boy, Ruki just stood there.

"Hey!" Shouted a man, "Don't just stand there, get help!"

Ruki looked down the street and saw Jenrya shopping at a store. She got an idea. "Hey! Lee! Get over here! Takato needs CPR!" She reached for her cell phone with a grin.

Jenrya dropped the bag he was carrying and ran as fast as he could to Takato's side. He ran through the crowd screaming. "Move it! I know CPR!" The crowd stood back as Jenrya was just about to give Takato mouth-to-mouth.

Takato's eyes suddenly opened in shock, just before Ruki's cell phone could take a picture of something Jenrya and Takato would be paying her to keep a secret for many years to come. So close. "J-Jen-kun...? What are...You...?" He blushed, "Uh...Gottarunbye!" He leapt to his feet and took off.

"TAKATO! Wait! Ruki said...!" Jenrya chased after Takato.

Ruki shrugged and went home.

* * *

Ruki tried to get to sleep last night, but thinking about what had happened to her the previous night had her worried. "Grrrr... Stupid ghosts..."

Outside there was the sudden and incredibly loud sound of tires screeching, followed by a loud THUMP! A ghostly figure was thrown through her wall and landed a few feet from her bed. The figure got up and tormed to the window in a huff. "HEY! I'M WALKIN' HERE!" He figure screamed at the driver.

"Oh God... Not... Another one..."

"Yes!" The ghost turned to Ruki. "Another ghost, Ruki Makino!"

Ruki couldn't believe her eyes. "Osamu Ichijouji...?"

"...So?"

"I was expecting a ghost with more than five minutes or air time on Digimon Adventure."

Osamu glared. "Hey! I had SEVEN minutes of air time!"

"I think the monsters of the day usually got more air time than you."

"Osamu sighed. "Whatever! Look, I'm the Ghost Of Christmas Present."

"...So, do you have that AK-47 I wanted?" Ruki asked.

"...No! Christmas Present, as in NOW!"

"Damn it!" Ruki snapped her fingers in disappointment.

"Now, let's see... Whose life should you look into...?" Osamu thought for a moment. "Aha!" He turned to Ruki and held out his hand. "Take my hand."

"No."

"Listen, it sounds a lot less creepy than 'touch my robe!'"

Ruki sighed and grabbed Osamu's hand, he began clicking his heels together.

"I wish I was at Takato's house, I wish I was at Takato's house, I wish I was at Takato's house..."

"... ... ..." Ruki gave Osamu the sort of look that said 'Are you high?'

"...What? Oikawa has his way, I have mine!"

Ruki let go of Osamu's hand. "Forget it, you're creeping me out!" She turned to leave, but, found herself floating outside of Takato's bedroom window. "What the...?"

"Told ya!"

"For a supposed Einstein, you're an idiot."

"Grrr... No wonder Oikawa complained about you so much..." He pointed to the sliding glass door. "Look... Gaze into the life of your friend, Takato."

"He's not my friend."

"...Casual aquaintance?"

Ruki shrugged.

"Then gaze into the life of your...casual aquaintance...Takato Matsuda..." Osamu motioned into Takato's room.  
Ruki looked inside. "And what am I looking for?"

"Depression."

"...He couldn't get a gift for that stupid Lee kid, so what?"

Inside, Takato sat up on his bed. "I...I had it...It cost me all of my money, but it would have been worth it to make him happy..." He fell back, then rolled onto his side and began to cry into a pillow. "Now... It's ruined! I'll never get a gift for... Jen-chan..."

Ruki's eyes went wide. "He's..?"

Osamu nodded.

"A-And he likes...?"

Osamu nodded.

"...WHY didn't I see this until now?"

"I dunno. Gaydar on the fritz?" Osamu shrugged. "So, now do you want to help-"

"I mean, Takato would pay SO much to keep me from outing him, especially to Lee." Ruki trailed off, then sighed, "I missed out on so much cash over the year..."

"...Ruki, that's evil beyond most of the people I deal with this time of year." Osamu stated. He extended his hand, sighing, "Now we're going to Jenrya's house."

Ruki rolled her eyes, she grabbed Osamu's hand.

"I wish I was at Jenrya's house, I wish I was at Jenrya's house, I wish I was at Jenrya's house..." Osamu chanted, clicking his heels together. He and Ruki were suddenly transported to Jenrya's balcony. "...Correction, apartment!" Osamu said, looking down at the street from the balcony. Osamu looked through the sliding glass door. "Okay, gaze upon the life of Jenrya Lee."

Ruki looked into the room. She couldn't believe her eyes. "...You have got to be kidding me..."

Inside, Jenrya was laying on his bed. Culumon was sitting on a chair next to him with a notepad and pencil in hand.

"Then I... I gave the guy mouth-to-mouth! Well, almost, and...Why did I believe Ruki?"

"Kuru! What did he say about it?" Culumon asked, scribbling something on the notepad.

"He... Turned and ran..." Jenrya sighed, "I think he knows."

"Kuru..." Culumon sighed sadly. "Here, I drew this! It might cheer you up!" He showed his notepad to Jenrya, it was two crudely drawn figures holding hands. "That's you and Takato!"

"Thanks, Culumon, that kinda helps..." Jenrya sighed, forcing a smile.

Ruki's eyes went even wider than when she saw Takato's 'present.' "I can't believe I never NOTICED this!"

"Oh, please..." Osamu muttered. "There's another couple you probably didn't notice."

"Who?"

"Hirokazu and Kenta."

"...That doesn't surprise me in the slightest." Ruki looked to her left, "Hey, that weird kid from the park is here!" Sure enough, the strange, sort of monkey-like kid from the park was staring into Jenrya's window as well, eyeing Culumon.

Osamu looked. "Ah yes..." He pointed to Culumon, "If these shadows do not change... Culumon will be kidnapped by a Chinese Zodiac Monkey-Digimon."

"Okay..." Ruki turned away, things had officially gone past the weirdness point of the no return.

"...What? I just see it happenening a week from the New Year, anyway!"

"You scare..." Ruki turned to face Osamu...

...Except she ended up in the middle of a foggy street. "...Me?" Osamu was gone.

A Dark Shadow loomed over Ruki. "I am the ghost of Christmas yet to come... ...Whoah, that sounded pretty ominous... Cool."

Ruki turned, she looked upon the ghost... ...And immediately tackled and hugged it, "Belial-sama!" She screamed.

BelialVamdemon lost his balance and fell over. "AGH!"

"You're my favorite character!" Ruki shouted.

"...It doesn't bother you that I manipulated and killed Oikawa, made Ken face his dead brother in a totally sadistic fashion, killed Archnemon AND Mummymon in an even MORE sadistic way and ruined the good name of Vamdemon, like, forever?"

"And that's what makes you so loveable!"

BelialVamdemon shrugged. "...Okay... Uh... Not that I don't enjoy having a fan who worships me, but, I have a job to do."

Ruki got off of BelialVamdemon. "Okay, what is it?"

"Follow me..." BelialVamdemon walked down the foggy road. Ruki followed.

They ended up in a graveyard a few moments later, where a funeral was taking place. "What's going on here?"

"Look at the grave." BelialVamdemon told her.

Ruki looked at the grave stone...

R.I.P  
Culumon  
He will be missed by all...  
...Stupid Devas

"Culumon? I thought he was only going to be kidnapped by a Chinese Zodiac Monkey!"

"I know from experience, that usually results in death. Especially if they bite you."

Ruki recognized the mourners..

All of the Tamers and their digimon, except her and Renamon.

"Where am I? Where's Renamon?"

BelialVamdemon pointed to a lonely grave, where Renamon stood, resting flowers by the tomb stone. Ruki looked at the stone...

R.I.P  
Ruki Makino  
She died the way she lived:  
Around BelialVamdemon merchandise  
They never should have invented "BelialVamdemon's Cheese-In-A-Can..."

"Your cheese-in-a-can killed me?" Ruki shouted, glaring at the vampire-demon.

"Yeah, four cans a day for a month kinda does that to you."

"Wait... All of this will change if I like Christmas?"

"Pretty much."

"BelialVamdemon! Please! Take me back! I'll change! I'll never eat cheese again!"

BelialVamdemon paused. "...Uh...You're supposed to believe in the spirit of Christmas!"

"...That too!"

"Then your wish will be granted." BelialVamdemon reached into the air, a magical wand materialized in his fingers. He put his hand on the bottom of the wand, "Just a second, I need some fairy dust from this thing..." He threw the fairy dust on Ruki. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, BelialVamdemon!"

"...That just doesn't sound right for some reason..."

* * *

Ruki's alarm clock rang, Ruki shut it off and got up. "What day is it?" She looked at her calendar (BelialVamdemon themed, of course), "December 24th! The spirits did it all in two days! And they gave me time to do my Christmas shopping!" It suddenly hit her. "...Takato!" She ran into her closet and came out a second later in her normal outfit. "Time to go kick some yuletide ass..."

* * *

"Merry Christmas world!" Ruki screamed, running through the streets of Shinjuku. "Merry Christmas!"

Ruki ran by an old lady. "Merry Christmas." The old lady said.

"Merry Christmas!" Ruki ran by, she jumped on to a lamp post a second later and swung around it. "MERRY CHRISTMAS WOLRD!"

Ruki leapt off the lamp post and ran by two police officers. "Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!"

"Look at that, Hiroki!" One of the cops said. "That's a total rip off of the ending to 'It's A Wonderful Life!'"

"Oh please, Yukio," Said the other. "This whole fic probably has Charles Dickens rolling around in his grave."

* * *

Takato sighed, he just didn't know what to do. He didn't have a present for Jenrya, he didn't have the money to buy one and...Jen was going to hate him, he knew it.

There was a knock at the door...

...Takato didn't care.

The knock was louder.

Takato ignored it.

"TAKATO! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW BEFORE I BREAK IT DOWN!"

Takato quickly ran to the door. "Ruki?"

"I had some connections at the store..." Ruki said, concealing the brass knuckles in her back pocket with a tug of her shirt. She gave Takato a set of manga, "It's a replacement, give it to Lee."

Takato was shocked, he gently took the manga, stammering. "Y-You...Re-replace...Jen's...! T-THANK YOU! Thank you, Ruki..."

Ruki turned to leave. She paused, saying, "Oh yeah, and tell him how you feel about him."

Takato paused, nervously saying. "W-What? I'm not...Ha ha ha! You're so funny, Ruki-"

Ruki growled, "Either YOU tell him, or I will!"

Takato swallowed nervously. "...Will do..."

With that, Ruki left. "Merry Christmas, Takato."

The next day, on Christmas day, Ruki recieved an email from Takato...

* * *

To: BelialVamdemonsgirl  
From: GoggleboyTakato

Subject: Merry Christmas, Ruki!

Hey, Ruki! Thank you so much again for getting those manga, I gave them to Jen-kun a few hours ago!

...And I told him how I felt, and, Well, let's just say that when I was about to tell him, he told me I was under some mistletoe and you know how THAT tradition goes.,,

...Best. Christmas. Ever.

Merry Christmas, Ruki!  
-Takato

* * *

Ruki read the email and smiled. "...Merry Christmas, Takato..." She wrote her reply, mouthing the last of the message, "PS: I STILL expect BelialVamdemon's dream house by the tenth..."

The End.

Original Author's (AKA Ori's) notes:  
Another slash...Look, when I was in my early teens, I had an apparent addiction to this stuff...What else can I say?

The only reason I let Taiki upload this one was because I stupidly said "Fine, I'll re-read that stupid fic! If I laugh ONCE you can put it up!"

...Damn you, BelialVamdemon's cheese-in-a-can. I forgot about that line! I have no idea why I gave Ruki an obsession with him, but it seemed to work in this fic.

Anyway, I present to you the most original of Christmas stories: A FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS CAROL! I know, I know, I have absolutely no right to criticize the cliche since, well, you just read my take on it. Still, I gotta say this:

It is my belief that when a writer dies and enters the great beyond, the first person that writer shall meet will be Charles Dickens. And, lo, he will say unto that writer, "Did you write a shameless rip off of 'A Christmas Carol?'"

Shouldst that writer honestly answer "Yes" that writer shall receive a single, swift kick to the groin from Charles Dickens. And Charles Dickens shall then walk away, not mad at the writer, just disappointed. The greatest of stings.

Shouldst that writer answer "No" with dishonest words, that writer shall receive not but a single swift kick to the groin, but also twelve kicks to the ribs. One kick for every day of Christmas.

But, shouldst that writer answer "No" with honest words, that writer will receive a hug and words of thanks from Charles Dickens. And the name of that writer shall be added to the great, golden plaque of "Truly Original Writers" for all of eternity.

Amen.

I'm willing to wager I'm going to get the twelve kicks even if I say "Yes" for two reasons:  
One, the Harry Potter line from Takato. I couldn't help it and for the record I have nothing but the utmost respect for JK Rowling. Hell, one of my canes is a replica of Lucius Malfoy's from the movies! Has a hidden wand in it and everything! I so wish I could get her to autograph it...

Two, the fact this is a freakin' Leekato. Unless Charles Dickens knows Oscar Wilde, in which case he might let it slide... ...Then again I know my luck, Oscar'll join in my ass-beating just for kicks.

* * *

Taiki's Notes:

I can safely say I, too, shall receive a kick to the groin for my hand in this. Though Sir Dickens might be lenient since I'm just the editor.

I should probably mention that the "Charles Dickens rolling in his grave" line was in the original version of this fic. Neither of us added it during the editing. Also, this is, barring any last minute approvals from Ori, the last of the out of season Christmas fics. I still want to wish you all a Merry Christmas! And God bless us, everyone!

I am curious about one thing that was touched upon in this fic: Why does Ori love making jokes about Osamu's status as the (in his exact words, I swear) "Ichijouji Road Waffle?" I refer to Osamu's ghost being hit by a car en route to Ruki's room and Mugen E II and III in general. It strikes me as darker than most of his usual jokes.

Though when I think about it Osamu and Ken are two of Ori's favorite Adventure 02 characters. And the more he likes a character the meaner he says he is to them.

I wonder if that formula could be applied to himself and his work. If it can be, then that can only mean one thing!

God, Ori, you're such a narcissist!

-Taiki Matsuki

**EDIT:** Sorry, I forgot to put in line breaks after I uploaded this fic. Fixed now!


End file.
